Self-sabotage could be defined as deciding you want something
and then making sure it doesn’t happen. Have you ever found yourself
close to achieving a goal, only to throw it all away at the last moment? Did
you look back later and kick yourself for being so foolish? Most of us have.
Why did you do this? There are several possible explanations,
ranging from a need to control the situation to feeling unworthy. But
regardless of the cause, the solutions are similar.
Eliminate self-sabotage from your life using these tips:
1. Observe
yourself. Look back at the times you’ve sabotaged yourself or come up
short. You probably try to justify the sabotaging behavior in your mind. But,
ignore the reasons and just observe the behavior. What conclusion would a
casual observer draw from your behavior?
·
Learn to notice the signs of self-sabotage. How and when do
you do it? Be objective and recognize your patterns.
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2. Remember that
success isn’t perfect. Sometimes we quit because things aren’t turning out the way we
imagined. Setting more reasonable expectations can help ensure that you’re
seeing things through to the end. Nothing in life is ever perfect.
·
For instance, maybe you’re in a great relationship, but you
imagined there wouldn’t be any disagreements. That isn’t a practical
expectation. Another common issue: Making a lot of money is helpful, but it
won’t solve all of your challenges.
3. Consider the
other people in your life. Self-sabotaging behavior is selfish. You’re hurting yourself
and others.
·
Before you throw in the towel, consider how it will affect those
around you. That might provide enough motivation to continue pressing forward.
4. Be willing to be
adventurous. Those who self-sabotage tend to stay in their own little
worlds. Seeing a project through to completion means adjusting your outlook.
Whether it’s a different job, a new relationship, or something else, your life
will be changed to a certain degree. Be brave enough to take that adventure.
·
If you tend to start new projects, but then stop yourself
before ever completing them, nothing will ever change and you’ve just wasted time.
5. Start small. Give yourself
the gift of having a few small successes. Then take the time to notice that
these successes aren’t perfect, but they still made your life better.
·
Enjoy the victory and imagine how great it would be to
accomplish greater successes.
6. Take some time
before making major decisions. Before making a big decision, give yourself some time to
think about it. Decisions can be impulsive. A few days can give you the
perspective you require to make a wise decision.
Self-sabotage can be frustrating. In the moment, it might
seem like you’re making a good choice, but eventually the truth becomes more
apparent. It’s easy to beat yourself up over your self-sabotaging behavior, but that can make it even harder for you to succeed the
next time.
Be good
to yourself and avoid “shooting yourself in the foot” with self-sabotage. You can and
will be successful!
