Get Out of Your Own Way: Putting an End to Self-Sabotaging Behavior

Self-sabotage could be defined as deciding you want something and then making sure it doesn’t happen. Have you ever found yourself close to achieving a goal, only to throw it all away at the last moment? Did you look back later and kick yourself for being so foolish? Most of us have.

Why did you do this? There are several possible explanations, ranging from a need to control the situation to feeling unworthy. But regardless of the cause, the solutions are similar.

Eliminate self-sabotage from your life using these tips:

1.      Observe yourself. Look back at the times you’ve sabotaged yourself or come up short. You probably try to justify the sabotaging behavior in your mind. But, ignore the reasons and just observe the behavior. What conclusion would a casual observer draw from your behavior?

·         Learn to notice the signs of self-sabotage. How and when do you do it? Be objective and recognize your patterns.

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2.      Remember that success isn’t perfect. Sometimes we quit because things aren’t turning out the way we imagined. Setting more reasonable expectations can help ensure that you’re seeing things through to the end. Nothing in life is ever perfect.

·         For instance, maybe you’re in a great relationship, but you imagined there wouldn’t be any disagreements. That isn’t a practical expectation. Another common issue: Making a lot of money is helpful, but it won’t solve all of your challenges.

3.      Consider the other people in your life. Self-sabotaging behavior is selfish. You’re hurting yourself and others.

·         Before you throw in the towel, consider how it will affect those around you. That might provide enough motivation to continue pressing forward.

4.      Be willing to be adventurous. Those who self-sabotage tend to stay in their own little worlds. Seeing a project through to completion means adjusting your outlook. Whether it’s a different job, a new relationship, or something else, your life will be changed to a certain degree. Be brave enough to take that adventure.

·         If you tend to start new projects, but then stop yourself before ever completing them, nothing will ever change and you’ve just wasted time.

5.      Start small. Give yourself the gift of having a few small successes. Then take the time to notice that these successes aren’t perfect, but they still made your life better.

·         Enjoy the victory and imagine how great it would be to accomplish greater successes.

6.      Take some time before making major decisions. Before making a big decision, give yourself some time to think about it. Decisions can be impulsive. A few days can give you the perspective you require to make a wise decision.

Self-sabotage can be frustrating. In the moment, it might seem like you’re making a good choice, but eventually the truth becomes more apparent. It’s easy to beat yourself up over your self-sabotaging behavior, but that can make it even harder for you to succeed the next time.

Be good to yourself and avoid “shooting yourself in the foot” with self-sabotage. You can and will be successful!

What is the Higher Self?

Are we just a body with a personality? From my understanding, we are much more than that. Each one of us has a higher aspect. This higher aspect has been typically called the Higher Self.

Are we just a body with a personality? From my understanding, we are much more than that. Each one of us has a higher aspect. This higher aspect has been typically called the Higher Self. If I am not wrong, others have also referred to it as the over-soul or over-self.

Who and what is the Higher Self? From my experience, the Higher Self is the intelligence and wisdom aspect of our own self. Ironically, the Higher Self is impersonal and does not have a 'sense of self' like the way our personality is. Nevertheless, it serves as a guiding aspect for the personality or ego.

Can this elusive higher self be contacted? Yes and typically it is done through meditation or some other altered states of consciousness.

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A little bit about me. Back in the late 1990s, I discovered that if I am thinking hard about a subject that is of a spiritual inquiry, I will sometimes receive visions that attempt to answer my queries. Mostly the visions are symbolic. Higher self will communicate by impulsing symbols and visions that form messages into my awareness.

An example of such transmissions:

Some years ago, I was contemplating on the nature of the cycle of reincarnation. Will lost souls be forever looped within the lower realm? (According to many Eastern Beliefs, Beings who had not attained enlightenment will be caught in a vicious circle of perpetual birth and rebirth.) Suddenly, out of nowhere, I received a transmission from beyond my conscious mind. It came as a 'package'... like a burst of images/symbols and moods. Very fast, split second impressions. The package seemed to be received by the right hemisphere of my brain. My brain instinctively attempted to interpret the transmission before I lose it. How do I know it wasn't my imagination? Well, firstly I do not think in pictures. I think in languages; English, Mandarin, etc. Secondly, the transmitted images were performing a 'dual-split' to my consciousness. That is, the images are simultaneously overlaying my visual perception of the environment around me. Well, a 'dual-split' in consciousness is definitely not the usual way my mind works! 

The animated vision was set against a light blue background. There were rings or bands of a lighter colour moving towards a centre point. Because the transmission was so fast, I think I might had lose some vital information. Anyway, here's my interpretation. Please understand that it was my physical brain that did this interpretation. As such I can never be to sure about the accuracy of my interpretation:

"The transmission is attempting to correct errors or rather incompleteness within my understanding of the scheme of things. The cycle of reincarnation is never meant to last forever. Eventually all will return back to the Source or essence. "

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Well, that transmission was many years ago. My understanding on that matter has been refined since then. However, the transmission was appropriate (to my level of understanding) at that time.

Over the years, these vision transmissions from Higher Self, together with the guidance of Enlightened Physical Teachers, have helped me to understand the dynamics consciousness and the universe greatly.

Thank you for reading.