Get Out of Your Own Way: Putting an End to Self-Sabotaging Behavior

Self-sabotage could be defined as deciding you want something and then making sure it doesn’t happen. Have you ever found yourself close to achieving a goal, only to throw it all away at the last moment? Did you look back later and kick yourself for being so foolish? Most of us have.

Why did you do this? There are several possible explanations, ranging from a need to control the situation to feeling unworthy. But regardless of the cause, the solutions are similar.

Eliminate self-sabotage from your life using these tips:

1.      Observe yourself. Look back at the times you’ve sabotaged yourself or come up short. You probably try to justify the sabotaging behavior in your mind. But, ignore the reasons and just observe the behavior. What conclusion would a casual observer draw from your behavior?

·         Learn to notice the signs of self-sabotage. How and when do you do it? Be objective and recognize your patterns.

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2.      Remember that success isn’t perfect. Sometimes we quit because things aren’t turning out the way we imagined. Setting more reasonable expectations can help ensure that you’re seeing things through to the end. Nothing in life is ever perfect.

·         For instance, maybe you’re in a great relationship, but you imagined there wouldn’t be any disagreements. That isn’t a practical expectation. Another common issue: Making a lot of money is helpful, but it won’t solve all of your challenges.

3.      Consider the other people in your life. Self-sabotaging behavior is selfish. You’re hurting yourself and others.

·         Before you throw in the towel, consider how it will affect those around you. That might provide enough motivation to continue pressing forward.

4.      Be willing to be adventurous. Those who self-sabotage tend to stay in their own little worlds. Seeing a project through to completion means adjusting your outlook. Whether it’s a different job, a new relationship, or something else, your life will be changed to a certain degree. Be brave enough to take that adventure.

·         If you tend to start new projects, but then stop yourself before ever completing them, nothing will ever change and you’ve just wasted time.

5.      Start small. Give yourself the gift of having a few small successes. Then take the time to notice that these successes aren’t perfect, but they still made your life better.

·         Enjoy the victory and imagine how great it would be to accomplish greater successes.

6.      Take some time before making major decisions. Before making a big decision, give yourself some time to think about it. Decisions can be impulsive. A few days can give you the perspective you require to make a wise decision.

Self-sabotage can be frustrating. In the moment, it might seem like you’re making a good choice, but eventually the truth becomes more apparent. It’s easy to beat yourself up over your self-sabotaging behavior, but that can make it even harder for you to succeed the next time.

Be good to yourself and avoid “shooting yourself in the foot” with self-sabotage. You can and will be successful!

Eliminate Your Fear of Rejection and Enhance Your Whole Life

What would your life look like if you were free from worrying about the opinions of others? What if seeking the approval of other people failed to enter your mind? How would it change your life?

Our lives are negatively influenced by the fear of rejection. It holds us back in so many ways and limits our ability to experience the positive aspects of life.

Consider these ideas to banish your fear of rejection:

1. Rejection is largely a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you're constantly worried about rejection, it changes the way you act. You become anxious and defensive. Those actions may cause you to be rejected by others. After all, who wants to spend time with someone who's unpleasant to be around?

* Consider how this fear is affecting your behavior. Are you acting in a way that's causing others to reject you?

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2. Focus on how you want to feel. Most people focus on how they don't want to feel, but they haven't considered how they want to feel. It's hard to accomplish something positive if you're unsure of what you want.

* Choose how you want to feel in a situation that's currently giving you trouble. Take actions that will bring you the feelings you want.

3. Use your imagination in a way that serves you well. We often look ahead to those challenging circumstances and imagine the worst possible outcome. This only adds stress to the situation and we've doomed ourselves to failure. See yourself as successful instead.

* Imagine being confident, relaxed, and carefree. If you do this enough times, it will become habitual. Your imagination has probably been hurting you up to this point. Put it to work in a way that is helpful rather than harmful.

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4. What does rejection really mean? Suppose a child finds a gold nugget lying on the ground. The child doesn't know what it is, so he just tosses it into the dirt. That doesn't mean the nugget is worthless, but just that the person making the judgment is ignorant of its value.

* Many successful people were rejected at one time or another. A theater professor told Harrison Ford that he would never be a successful actor. The University of Evansville put out a scouting report on Larry Bird that stated he would, "Never play Division I basketball." Record companies even rejected the Beatles.

* Sometimes others make poor judgments. Avoid giving the rejecter too much credibility.

5. Be wary of your own opinion. What if all of your beliefs were true? You'd be a billionaire and married to a supermodel. We all have false beliefs. These beliefs are highly limiting and steer you in a negative direction far more often than you realize. Question your beliefs.

Rejection is one of the worst feelings in the world. But remember that you have some influence on whether or not you're rejected by others. It's also important to keep in mind that rejection frequently has more to do with the person doing the rejecting than the one receiving it.

Eliminating the fear of rejection is a worthwhile endeavor. When you are free of this fear, a whole new world will open up to you.

What is the Higher Self?

Are we just a body with a personality? From my understanding, we are much more than that. Each one of us has a higher aspect. This higher aspect has been typically called the Higher Self.

Are we just a body with a personality? From my understanding, we are much more than that. Each one of us has a higher aspect. This higher aspect has been typically called the Higher Self. If I am not wrong, others have also referred to it as the over-soul or over-self.

Who and what is the Higher Self? From my experience, the Higher Self is the intelligence and wisdom aspect of our own self. Ironically, the Higher Self is impersonal and does not have a 'sense of self' like the way our personality is. Nevertheless, it serves as a guiding aspect for the personality or ego.

Can this elusive higher self be contacted? Yes and typically it is done through meditation or some other altered states of consciousness.

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A little bit about me. Back in the late 1990s, I discovered that if I am thinking hard about a subject that is of a spiritual inquiry, I will sometimes receive visions that attempt to answer my queries. Mostly the visions are symbolic. Higher self will communicate by impulsing symbols and visions that form messages into my awareness.

An example of such transmissions:

Some years ago, I was contemplating on the nature of the cycle of reincarnation. Will lost souls be forever looped within the lower realm? (According to many Eastern Beliefs, Beings who had not attained enlightenment will be caught in a vicious circle of perpetual birth and rebirth.) Suddenly, out of nowhere, I received a transmission from beyond my conscious mind. It came as a 'package'... like a burst of images/symbols and moods. Very fast, split second impressions. The package seemed to be received by the right hemisphere of my brain. My brain instinctively attempted to interpret the transmission before I lose it. How do I know it wasn't my imagination? Well, firstly I do not think in pictures. I think in languages; English, Mandarin, etc. Secondly, the transmitted images were performing a 'dual-split' to my consciousness. That is, the images are simultaneously overlaying my visual perception of the environment around me. Well, a 'dual-split' in consciousness is definitely not the usual way my mind works! 

The animated vision was set against a light blue background. There were rings or bands of a lighter colour moving towards a centre point. Because the transmission was so fast, I think I might had lose some vital information. Anyway, here's my interpretation. Please understand that it was my physical brain that did this interpretation. As such I can never be to sure about the accuracy of my interpretation:

"The transmission is attempting to correct errors or rather incompleteness within my understanding of the scheme of things. The cycle of reincarnation is never meant to last forever. Eventually all will return back to the Source or essence. "

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Well, that transmission was many years ago. My understanding on that matter has been refined since then. However, the transmission was appropriate (to my level of understanding) at that time.

Over the years, these vision transmissions from Higher Self, together with the guidance of Enlightened Physical Teachers, have helped me to understand the dynamics consciousness and the universe greatly.

Thank you for reading.

The Spiritual Feng Shui

Feng Shui (pronounced “fung shway”) is an ancient Chinese art whose name translates from the Chinese as “wind and water.” Feng Shui is a lyrical phrase that poetically evokes the heart of this ancient practice. Wind and water are, first and foremost, natural elements (two of the five elements that comprise all of nature). Wind is the earth’s breath, and water is the invigorating lifeblood of everything that exists on our planet. Both wind and water have tremendous energy that drives Feng Shui's practices and techniques to fill your life with positive energies. Feng Shui, at its very core is a means of arranging the basic elements of life—and all the things that you surround yourself with on a daily basis— to create the optimal and harmonious flow of vital life energy, just like the flow of water and wind. 

How Feng Shui works 

 Feng Shui is no magic. It is a collection of practical, time-tested solutions based on the fundamental properties of elements that are used to change the negative aspects and introduce the positive aspects of each element to your living environment—and change your life for the better. Feng Shui has had a huge impact on the lives of hundreds of thousands of people around the globe—and you can have its benefits work for you! By simply changing the interior of your home, changing the colors of your walls, or relocating the furniture in your bedroom, you can enjoy the positive effects of Feng Shui. 

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Feng Shui information – some Key Points

Good Feng Shui requires an open mind, heart and spirit. Feng Shui releases negativity from your house and life. It opens up a whole new space within you for positive thoughts, love, contentment and prosperity. Don’t let negativity enter when you practice Feng Shui. Holding onto negative emotions and past anger can only hinder you from making progress through Feng Shui and creating a wonderful future for yourself. Practicing good karma is a cornerstone of Feng Shui. Be generous and give of yourself in order to receive in kind from the universe and others around you. You are living a life that is ill-suited to you, your personality, your dreams, your family, your essential self…and your home is symbolic of this. 

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 Feng Shui helps you to enhance your living space by changing one or more elements in the room. As you learn more about Feng Shui, you will begin to understand the significance of each and every practice that is related to Feng Shui. By embracing Feng Shui, you embrace the fact that you deserve balance, harmony, and spiritual fulfillment. You deserve empowerment and clarity. So, let Feng Shui help you reach out and take hold of all those things—you, your life, and your future all stand to benefit immensely if you do! Subscribe to our bi-monthly newsletter and/ or buy my e-book for authentic information on the various aspects of Feng Shui. Remember that Feng Shui is not only about changing your physical surroundings, but it is also about changing yourself from within. 

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The Spiritual Feng Shui is a spiritual technique that transforms you at both physical and metaphysical level. Physical Feng Shui — just moving around furniture — is incomplete without the support of mental and emotional Feng Shui. Until you practice Feng Shui in its totality it is of little use!

Preconceived Notions about Life and – Snakes By Suzanne Holman

How do you react when you see a snake or some other reptile?

Many people are super frightened and want to kill any snake that they may see near their home.We’re not born with any fears except the fear of falling and of loud noises. Other fears and phobias develop as a result of what others have shared with us as we’ve grown up.

That fear of reptiles develops from the conditioning from parents and others who have acquired the fear from their predecessors.

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As a child I went to a day camp where one of the activities was going to the “snake pit” where we would sit around the edge and the handler would pick up snakes for us to handle. I loved the little ring-necked snakes….about 8 – 10 inches long. Fun to hold. At the snake pit, I learned some of the characteristics of poisonous snakes – the flattened head, a small depression between the eyes and sometimes a “rattle” for a tail.

My parents didn’t instill a huge fear in me…. I learned the value of snakes in controlling rodents. We lived on the edge of some woods though and seeing a snake in the shed where we kept gardening supplies was a little startling.

Another unforgettable experience was when our basset hound yelped from the other room when we were living in a very large older home. That large black snake definitely didn’t belong in my kitchen…. Quickly removed, safely from the house, with the help of a large shovel.

Recently I had the opportunity to attend an event at my grandsons’ school where “The Reptile Man” showed quite a variety of reptiles to the enthralled audience of children. HIs loving attitude toward his animals quickly spread to the children and they were all excited at any opportunity to go up with him to be part of handling the animals. He had a cute name for all of them…..like Sheila the Gila – monster. He was very clear about leaving snakes alone in the wild. They like to be left alone. And poisonous snakes are not to be reckoned with. He described in detail the effects of poisonous snake bites. He taught the difference between realistic caution and unfounded fears.

To see the throngs of children lining up to have their picture taken with either a small alligator or a huge snake was amazing! They knew these creatures were safe because of being raised in captivity. With careful education, they knew that they could be close to these animals. The generalization that all reptiles are scary was dropped by these kids for sure.

You may be wondering what this discussion has to do with your life. What negative conditioning have you received that is affecting your mindset? Are there things that you are not attempting because you have generalized your fears about trying something new or going to different places?

If you can just think rationally about opportunities rather than reacting quickly from your preconceived notions, you may very well find yourself getting beyond stuck and moving on to new experiences. Think back over the last few days or weeks. Where have you made quick decisions without getting beyond the old beliefs that may or may not be reality?

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